| Hello ghouls and boys, I’m Ghost: the Keeper of Night and I’m here to invade the pages of This Week In Texas Magazine for this spookalicious issue! So I called my hero Elvira the Mistress of the Dark and got all the ghoul gossip I could whip out of her! Make sure you watch her new show airing on Fox Reality from October 13th until October 31st it’s sure to be a scream. For more details visit the Queen of camp at: www.elvira.com Stalk me... I mean e-mail me: ghost@zellepia.com Or come visit my haunted website: www.zellepia.com I’ll give you a Trick and a Treat you’ll never forget! I’ll give you a Trick and a Treat you’ll never forget! |
Ghost Note
Ghost: Hello Elvira Mistress of the dark. How are you this early, early, early morning?
Elvira: Uhhh not good! It’s early for me that’s why they call me the Mistress of the Dark.
Ghost: Yeah, Beasties like us are usually sleeping during the day.
Elvira: Yeah!
Ghost: I tried to contact you through Ouija board but was having trouble making contact have you been
connected lately?
Elvira: Um on the Ouija board, actually I have to switch to a different Ouija board service the one that I have
doesn’t get good reception in my house.
Ghost: As you know I am Ghost: The Keeper of Night, I swear you had nothing to do with this.......
Elvira: Wow, I’m sorry I didn’t, I coulda influenced you in many other ways I’m sure.....
Ghost: You have actually!
Elvira: You better tell me that!
Ghost; You’re fabulous darling!
Elvira: Thank You!
Ghost: Well, I am a gay ghoul without a hag, what would one have to do to be your fag?
Elvira: OMG (laughs) I’ll tell you, geeez where do I start? Um, first of all dress up like me yeah dress up like
Elvira, Then kinda become my slave and do everything I ask you to do....
Ghost: No Problem!
Elvira: I have a lot of those running around I gotta tell you they dressed up like me they, they get down on the
floor and kneel then bow, and lick my boots it’s fantastic!
Ghost: OOOooooooh sounds fun!
Elvira: Yeah I think it is for me.
Ghost: I’m sure you know that I was raised by a pack of werewolves and I heard a little rumour that you were
raised by a pack of drag queens, is this true?
Elvira: YEAH, I was raised by a pack of wild drag queens. Yes, you know I hate to give credit to anyone
else of course but I must say I learned to walk, talk, dress, put my makeup on do my hair and everything else
from a bunch of drag queens and thats why eventually I kinda became a drag queen myself and now it
seems that I’m influencing drag queens so it just came around full circle.
Ghost: You are in fact what every COOL drag queen strives to be, you’ve inspired so many, how do you feel
about this?
Elvira: I love it, I’m giving back what the drag queens gave to me.
Ghost: It seems appropriate to have drag queen judges (Christian and Patterson)on your new show how
long have you been working with these two beasties?
Elvira: It’s really funny I met them both separately in different states when they were like 14 years old with
their moms and I have obviously had a major influence on their life. Um, but they are the finest drag....
Impersonators for Elvira that there are in the land. They’re so good I didn’t even allow them to be
contestants in my show, Um because they woulda won! I’m sure one of them would have won so instead
used them as my evil Satan's helpers and they actually helped me pick the girls because they know more
about Elvira, myself, then anyone else!
Ghost: Will your new show have any Gay, Lesbian, Bi or Transgendered hauntings we should be getting
excited about?
Elvira: yup, we got one of everything in this show. Some of the people I can’t even tell what the hell but
there’s one of every type of person that could show up man, woman, and everything in between so there’ll
be plenty of every kind of action you could want on the show.
Ghost: So the next Elvira doesn’t have to have real boobies like yours?
Elvira: Not necesaarily we were open to all suggestions. Like I say if I woulda let Christian or Patterson in
the show they woulda ended up winning.
Ghost: Well, now that we’re on the subject of your boobs I’m sure you know just how much gay guys like the
booby, as scary as this is just how many gay boys have copped an Elvira feel?
Elvira: (laughs) uh, generally they keep their hands to themselves thankfully but they do really seem to
admire my assets and appreciate them in a way that straight men don’t. You know, it’s more
complimentary coming from a gay man when they appreciate my boobies. Yeah, I’m very flattered.
Ghost: We don’t look at it as a sexual thing it’s more like an accessory!
Elvira: Yes, there you go. It’s like wearing a fancy necklace!
Ghost: Well, have you yourself ever had any Homo Horror experiences?
Elvira: (laughs) Homo Horror experiences, I have had a few horrific experiences with homos (laughs)
I’ll give you a Trick and a Treat you’ll never forget
Elvira: Uhhh not good! It’s early for me that’s why they call me the Mistress of the Dark.
Ghost: Yeah, Beasties like us are usually sleeping during the day.
Elvira: Yeah!
Ghost: I tried to contact you through Ouija board but was having trouble making contact have you been
connected lately?
Elvira: Um on the Ouija board, actually I have to switch to a different Ouija board service the one that I have
doesn’t get good reception in my house.
Ghost: As you know I am Ghost: The Keeper of Night, I swear you had nothing to do with this.......
Elvira: Wow, I’m sorry I didn’t, I coulda influenced you in many other ways I’m sure.....
Ghost: You have actually!
Elvira: You better tell me that!
Ghost; You’re fabulous darling!
Elvira: Thank You!
Ghost: Well, I am a gay ghoul without a hag, what would one have to do to be your fag?
Elvira: OMG (laughs) I’ll tell you, geeez where do I start? Um, first of all dress up like me yeah dress up like
Elvira, Then kinda become my slave and do everything I ask you to do....
Ghost: No Problem!
Elvira: I have a lot of those running around I gotta tell you they dressed up like me they, they get down on the
floor and kneel then bow, and lick my boots it’s fantastic!
Ghost: OOOooooooh sounds fun!
Elvira: Yeah I think it is for me.
Ghost: I’m sure you know that I was raised by a pack of werewolves and I heard a little rumour that you were
raised by a pack of drag queens, is this true?
Elvira: YEAH, I was raised by a pack of wild drag queens. Yes, you know I hate to give credit to anyone
else of course but I must say I learned to walk, talk, dress, put my makeup on do my hair and everything else
from a bunch of drag queens and thats why eventually I kinda became a drag queen myself and now it
seems that I’m influencing drag queens so it just came around full circle.
Ghost: You are in fact what every COOL drag queen strives to be, you’ve inspired so many, how do you feel
about this?
Elvira: I love it, I’m giving back what the drag queens gave to me.
Ghost: It seems appropriate to have drag queen judges (Christian and Patterson)on your new show how
long have you been working with these two beasties?
Elvira: It’s really funny I met them both separately in different states when they were like 14 years old with
their moms and I have obviously had a major influence on their life. Um, but they are the finest drag....
Impersonators for Elvira that there are in the land. They’re so good I didn’t even allow them to be
contestants in my show, Um because they woulda won! I’m sure one of them would have won so instead
used them as my evil Satan's helpers and they actually helped me pick the girls because they know more
about Elvira, myself, then anyone else!
Ghost: Will your new show have any Gay, Lesbian, Bi or Transgendered hauntings we should be getting
excited about?
Elvira: yup, we got one of everything in this show. Some of the people I can’t even tell what the hell but
there’s one of every type of person that could show up man, woman, and everything in between so there’ll
be plenty of every kind of action you could want on the show.
Ghost: So the next Elvira doesn’t have to have real boobies like yours?
Elvira: Not necesaarily we were open to all suggestions. Like I say if I woulda let Christian or Patterson in
the show they woulda ended up winning.
Ghost: Well, now that we’re on the subject of your boobs I’m sure you know just how much gay guys like the
booby, as scary as this is just how many gay boys have copped an Elvira feel?
Elvira: (laughs) uh, generally they keep their hands to themselves thankfully but they do really seem to
admire my assets and appreciate them in a way that straight men don’t. You know, it’s more
complimentary coming from a gay man when they appreciate my boobies. Yeah, I’m very flattered.
Ghost: We don’t look at it as a sexual thing it’s more like an accessory!
Elvira: Yes, there you go. It’s like wearing a fancy necklace!
Ghost: Well, have you yourself ever had any Homo Horror experiences?
Elvira: (laughs) Homo Horror experiences, I have had a few horrific experiences with homos (laughs)
I’ll give you a Trick and a Treat you’ll never forget
I’ve had a few scary experiences, but fun scary like one of my friends Peaches Christ, I just recently did
midnight mass with a fabulous drag queen Peaches Christ and it was really fun we had a bunch of queens
dressed up as zombies. I did Sweet Transvestite from the Rocky Horror Picture show except I changed it to
Sweet Elvira.
Ghost: It was amazing, I was in the crowd actually.
Elvira: Thank you honey, and uh Peaches was the host and it was a fabulous show it was amazing we did it at
midnight in San Francisco at the Bridge Theatre and it was too, too bizarre and funny and I’ve had a lot of
scary experiences with my east coast friend Lady Bunny every time I see her it’s a scary, very scary scary, go
to her website it’s oooooh frightening.
Ghost: I like to play with my pumpkins, what’s your favourite thing to do on Halloween?
Elvira: Well, lots of people like to play..... Would like to play with my pumpkins. I try to keep them from doing
that because I usually charge for that kind of thing...
Ghost: I don’t blame you.
Elvira: Um, yeah really..... Let’s see what’s my favourite whaaaaaaaa?
Ghost: What’s your favourite thing to do on Halloween? (laughs)
Elvira: Oh, well besides keeping people from playing with my pumpkins um my favourite thing to do on
Halloween is work. (laughs) my favourite thing to do on Halloween WOULD be to put on a moo moo and flip
flops and a couple of drinks and uh lay down somewhere.... but generally I’m very very busy on Halloween. I’m
flying all over the country as I will be this year I’ll be shooting my show here in Los Angelas on the 29th....... I’ll
be doing Dream Halloween which is a giant Aids fundraiser. On Halloween they will be releasing the one of a
kind Barbie Elvira from Matel.
Ghost: Oooooooh
Elvira: And then I will be flying on the Red Eye to get to New York City to do the Today show on HALLOWEEN
MORNING!
Ghost: Geeeeeez!
Elvira: 4am in LA time.... I’m like Nooooooooo DAMN....... That’s what I’ll be doing this Halloween I won’t be
lying around the beach in a hamoc.
Ghost: Sounds fun tho.
Elvira: Yeuuuuuuup, it will if I can stay awake.
Ghost: Not many people know this but you do a lot of charity work to raise money and draw attention to this
horrible horrible thing called AIDS. What motivates someone as busy as yourself to do this?
Elvira: Well after losing every single friend I had in the world to AIDS in the 80’s and early 90’s um, I kind of
made a little vow with myself to never stop helping you know, get rid of this scurge..... Until it’s really cured so I
just do, I spend as much time and energy on it as I can. I’m doing an AIDS fundraiser..... When am I doing it?
tomorrow night.... On October 11th for AIDS health care foundation which is an international organization and I’
m doing it’s called an Out of Closet fashion show to raise money for AIDS awareness. Yeah then I’ll be doing
the one for Dream Halloween on October 27th (sounds of a dog barking can be heard)
(sounds of a dog barking can be heard.)
Ghost: Did I just hear your pet Rotweiler?
Elvira: You did.... My little doggy Mina she’s named after Dracula
Ghost: It’s so funny I have two pet tarantulas and I named one after Gonk, from your pet poodle Elvira.
Elvira: Oh that’s so sweet
Ghost: My second tarantula doesn’t have a name yet do you have any suggestions?
Elvira: Well I’ve had a long line of cats and dogs over the last 25 years and uh maybe you’ll like some of their
names. Let’s see I have Vladd the impailer uh, I had Bella, I had Renfield who is Draculas sidekick I had him
for so many years.
Ghost: Was he a bug eater as well?
Elvira: Oh yeah, OMG he loved flies that’s why we named him Renfield. Bram who was a Rotweiler, he was
my big Teddy bear GAY Rotweiler. He was so gay he was amazing and he was named after Bram Stoker....
Ghost: Did you just say he was gay?
Elvira: He was gay!
Ghost: I have a gay dog too... named Boo!
Elvira: Do you, wow. Boo’s a good name I might use that next time. I had my other cat named Hecit after the
witch in Macbeth so I name them all these spooky names.
Ghost: I might have to steal one of those.
Elvira: You’re welcome to... They’ve all gone to the big cans im my closet. I open it and it’s all my former pets
in a can.
Ghost: Oh no that’s so sad!
Elvira: I know, I don’t know what to do with them I just keep collecting cans of ashes.
Ghsot; Well it sounds like you do know what to do with them...
Elvira: My cats name is Ash, HEY! I just thought of that, the cat that I have OMG the cat that I have now is
named Ash! He’s headed for the can already.
Ghost: He’s like Destined!
Elvira: I never thought of that
Ghost: It’s her destiny!
Elvira: She’s like already ready for her can....
midnight mass with a fabulous drag queen Peaches Christ and it was really fun we had a bunch of queens
dressed up as zombies. I did Sweet Transvestite from the Rocky Horror Picture show except I changed it to
Sweet Elvira.
Ghost: It was amazing, I was in the crowd actually.
Elvira: Thank you honey, and uh Peaches was the host and it was a fabulous show it was amazing we did it at
midnight in San Francisco at the Bridge Theatre and it was too, too bizarre and funny and I’ve had a lot of
scary experiences with my east coast friend Lady Bunny every time I see her it’s a scary, very scary scary, go
to her website it’s oooooh frightening.
Ghost: I like to play with my pumpkins, what’s your favourite thing to do on Halloween?
Elvira: Well, lots of people like to play..... Would like to play with my pumpkins. I try to keep them from doing
that because I usually charge for that kind of thing...
Ghost: I don’t blame you.
Elvira: Um, yeah really..... Let’s see what’s my favourite whaaaaaaaa?
Ghost: What’s your favourite thing to do on Halloween? (laughs)
Elvira: Oh, well besides keeping people from playing with my pumpkins um my favourite thing to do on
Halloween is work. (laughs) my favourite thing to do on Halloween WOULD be to put on a moo moo and flip
flops and a couple of drinks and uh lay down somewhere.... but generally I’m very very busy on Halloween. I’m
flying all over the country as I will be this year I’ll be shooting my show here in Los Angelas on the 29th....... I’ll
be doing Dream Halloween which is a giant Aids fundraiser. On Halloween they will be releasing the one of a
kind Barbie Elvira from Matel.
Ghost: Oooooooh
Elvira: And then I will be flying on the Red Eye to get to New York City to do the Today show on HALLOWEEN
MORNING!
Ghost: Geeeeeez!
Elvira: 4am in LA time.... I’m like Nooooooooo DAMN....... That’s what I’ll be doing this Halloween I won’t be
lying around the beach in a hamoc.
Ghost: Sounds fun tho.
Elvira: Yeuuuuuuup, it will if I can stay awake.
Ghost: Not many people know this but you do a lot of charity work to raise money and draw attention to this
horrible horrible thing called AIDS. What motivates someone as busy as yourself to do this?
Elvira: Well after losing every single friend I had in the world to AIDS in the 80’s and early 90’s um, I kind of
made a little vow with myself to never stop helping you know, get rid of this scurge..... Until it’s really cured so I
just do, I spend as much time and energy on it as I can. I’m doing an AIDS fundraiser..... When am I doing it?
tomorrow night.... On October 11th for AIDS health care foundation which is an international organization and I’
m doing it’s called an Out of Closet fashion show to raise money for AIDS awareness. Yeah then I’ll be doing
the one for Dream Halloween on October 27th (sounds of a dog barking can be heard)
(sounds of a dog barking can be heard.)
Ghost: Did I just hear your pet Rotweiler?
Elvira: You did.... My little doggy Mina she’s named after Dracula
Ghost: It’s so funny I have two pet tarantulas and I named one after Gonk, from your pet poodle Elvira.
Elvira: Oh that’s so sweet
Ghost: My second tarantula doesn’t have a name yet do you have any suggestions?
Elvira: Well I’ve had a long line of cats and dogs over the last 25 years and uh maybe you’ll like some of their
names. Let’s see I have Vladd the impailer uh, I had Bella, I had Renfield who is Draculas sidekick I had him
for so many years.
Ghost: Was he a bug eater as well?
Elvira: Oh yeah, OMG he loved flies that’s why we named him Renfield. Bram who was a Rotweiler, he was
my big Teddy bear GAY Rotweiler. He was so gay he was amazing and he was named after Bram Stoker....
Ghost: Did you just say he was gay?
Elvira: He was gay!
Ghost: I have a gay dog too... named Boo!
Elvira: Do you, wow. Boo’s a good name I might use that next time. I had my other cat named Hecit after the
witch in Macbeth so I name them all these spooky names.
Ghost: I might have to steal one of those.
Elvira: You’re welcome to... They’ve all gone to the big cans im my closet. I open it and it’s all my former pets
in a can.
Ghost: Oh no that’s so sad!
Elvira: I know, I don’t know what to do with them I just keep collecting cans of ashes.
Ghsot; Well it sounds like you do know what to do with them...
Elvira: My cats name is Ash, HEY! I just thought of that, the cat that I have OMG the cat that I have now is
named Ash! He’s headed for the can already.
Ghost: He’s like Destined!
Elvira: I never thought of that
Ghost: It’s her destiny!
Elvira: She’s like already ready for her can....
